you guys were way drunker than both of me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
