You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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