So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
