id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
