Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
