NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
