That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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