I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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