I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
