After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
