I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
