She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
