im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
