is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
