We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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