"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
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