pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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