he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
