It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
