she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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