small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
