So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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