Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
