So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
50% drunk capacity currently
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
