she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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