dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
