His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
