He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
