something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
