i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
