So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
