Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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