sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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