It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
