Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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