What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
