Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All the doctor said was why
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
