Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
