so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
