i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can't motorboat a personality
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
