I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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