she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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