I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
