I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
