At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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