Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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