Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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