I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
