I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
