my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
